What the Registry really is

I was asked to tell my side of what the registry really is to me. I know that some people will say that my opinion does not matter since I am just another “sick person”. Well guess what, I am human too and just because you see a label does not mean that I am that kind of person. There are always two sides to a story. To give everyone a little bit of information behind sex offender charges, you can be drunk, trip, reach out and grab boobs not knowing it was a 17-year-old. Then, Bam! You are on the registry. Florida is the toughest state to live in as a S/O. They have so many rules to follow that it makes it impossible to live and work anywhere. This is the reason why my husband and I decided to move out of Florida. We wanted a fresh start with our children. We were tired of the threats and people driving by our house (which is on a private road). So, we moved. First to Maryland. Maryland had me as a “high risk” offender. I never touched her let alone knew that it had happened. So needless to say, Maryland had me registering every three months. I thought that by moving, things would be different. It was the same BS that I had delt with back in Florida. The only difference was that I was nowhere near the people that did this to me. I was able to get a job, but in some way, Maryland is worse than Florida. Given that I was not able to go to the school to pick my children up or drop them off. That is when we started thinking about moving again. Especially when Covid hit, and everything went into lock down. My children were home, and I could help teach them. I too decided to go back to school. Since the state was in need of CNA’s, I did my schooling and got my CNA/GNA. After I achieved this goal, I started working at a nursing home. I loved my job there, the people that I got to work with and the residents which I started to get attached to. I ended up getting burnt out with all the extra shifts and people getting sick. I decided to take some time off. That is when we moved to New York. So far it is one of the least stick states to live in. The only problem that I am having is getting a job doing any kind of medical help. This is because the DOH does background checks and they decide if you are a threat to anyone. Now before you get all talking about how I should not work in the medical field you should know that in New York I am a level 1, which shows that I am not a threat to anyone. I found a wonderful job at a small retirement home that has 13 residents. I loved it there. I got to show off my cooking skills and just sit down and talk to them. But because of DOH I am no longer employed there. My employer and I are fighting it so that I can have my job back. I found a Certificate of Relief of Disabilities. This certificate will show that I am not a threat and that I am trying to be a part of sociality. With all this going on we have also been homeless since August of 2020. We are still looking for a place to live but with everything that is going on it is so hard. We have DSS involved but they are unwilling to help us at all. They took our food stamps away and told us that we have to use our daughter’s Social Security (which we no longer are receiving right now) to pay for the hotel. On top of all this, they sanctioned my husband and I for their workforce program. We also only had until today, 12-10-21 to pay up front. Now I have been emailing my case workers, which they have not returned any of my emails at all for the last 3 weeks. I believe that they are using my charges against me so that they do not have to help us. So, my husband contacted the mayor’s office, which we are waiting on a response back from the mayor. If we do not hear by the end of today, then we will be calling them back on Monday. I hope this explains in my words what the registry to me is. It is a ball and chain weighing me and others down and keeping from us from achieving our life goals.

“Stay positive in every situation and everything you do, never stop trying, have faith don’t stop due to failure.” – Anurag Prakash Ray

Six Months In

Since this pandamic hit back in March, everything was put on a strick lockdown and so many Americans had lost their jobs. My husband and I included. Now with it being October, everything has almost opened back up completely. I have tried to use the last 8 months to good use. I got my Advanced Diploma in Nursing and Patient Care from the International Career Institute. I then proceeded to get my CNA and then GNA. I now have a job in a rehab/nursing home.

Back in July our county was still in stage one of reopening, while the rest of the state went into stage two. The extra unemployment had just ran out and there was no help for people who needed it for their rent. My family ended up getting evicted even though we were giving the apartment our unemployment money every week. We are now at the Extended Stay America. To my husband and I we are trying to show our children that we are ok. We are now in what we call a “box”. But everything happens for a reason. A month after being in the hotel I got my job at the Rehab/Nursing home. Being in the small space has brought us closer together.

Nothing lasts forever. We will get through this.

The “I’m Tired” Project

“The ‘I’m Tired’ Project utilizes photography, the human body, and written words as a tools highlight the lasting impact of everyday micro-aggressions, assumptions, and stereotypes and pull back the layers of discrimination to reveal thoughts and feelings that aren’t usually voiced through fear of backlash and lack of being relatable.”

The “I’m Tired” Project

Why I am where I am today

No one gets where they are overnight.  You have to work for it.  Most of the time it is going to be hard.  I joined Women Against the Registry to tell my story.  I had read up about it and loved what I read.  They try to help when they can.  They have great resources on their website.  Anyways, I have done a lot of things that I regret, but if I did not go through it I would not be the person I am today or even where I am right now.  First off I am a registered Sex Offender.  I have four children.  My first son I have no contact with.  My ex in-laws have temporary custody of him.  I have been through the courts and got visits but when I asked for overnights they said that my son threatened to run away.  Now what really gets me is that my ex husband can have him unsupervised and over night.  By law he is not supposed to.  My ex in-laws went after me for child support while my ex husband paid nothing.  My charge happened back in 2005.  My ex husband and I did not get arrested until 2007.  This was well over the time limit they had.  I went to jail and found out that I was pregnant with my second son.  The lady who pressed the charges was a family friend.  My ex husband and I were about to be homeless with our oldest son so she took us in.  My ex husband ended up sleeping with her daughter.  My charges state that I had no sexual contact, but when they did the prison points they checked off sexual contact and it scored me out for prison.  Anyway the family friend stood up in court and asked the judge to dismiss my case.  I do not know what she told the detective but she made herself look like a liar in front of the judge.  All the judge said was that he hopes my son does not end up like Charles Manson.  I had my son in November and two weeks later I was off to the prison.  My mom ended up taking my son home and raised him for the first three years.  After all this I got with my current husband.  He was the one who told me that I can do anything I put my mind to.  Soon after Mike and I got together we found out we were pregnant.  We decided to place our daughter up for adoption.  We wanted to give our daughter a better life.  I was adopted and I felt to give to a couple and to be able to make them feel whole.  In 2012 we gave birth to our beautiful daughter.   I finally got divorced from my first husband.  It took almost 8 years.  In March of 2016 Mike and I finally got married.  

Since 2012 we have been going through the laws and what we could do to get away from this nightmare.  We started planning to move to Washington, D.C.  We decided to first bring it to the D.C. courts and then to the Supreme Court.  It took us about 6 years of planning to move.  We ended up in Maryland.  I have not really been able to find work.  It seems like whenever I get an interview and I explain my situation I never get a call back.  We ended up owning our own cleaning business.  The victim’s sister went and shared my site along with my registration information on her FB and told everyone that I was out looking for children.  She then went on to call the cops and told them that I was taking pictures of my daughter.  Now mind you I was homeschooling both my children.  She told the cops that my daughter told her daughter at school.  When I told the officer this he called it in and told them to disregard the call.  Along with all this BS people were sending me death threats and threatening to harm my children.  That was the last straw.  We ended up packing just the clothes on our backs and left Florida.

When we got to Maryland we had been homeschooling our children and decided to register them for school.  I had to bring them to the school to do the paperwork since my husband was at work.  Not knowing about the laws for Maryland and S/Os I took them to school.  I was told to come back at the end of the school day and pick them up.  Not even 10 minutes later I get a call from the school saying that my children were taken by CPS.  Now CPS had no reason to take my children out of school.  They only took them because of my charges.  My son and daughter were scared to death.  My son later told me that the lady said that if they did not come with her then mommy was going to go to jail.  My son is very outspoken and knows about my charges.  He told the lady that I had nothing to do with what is on my paperwork and that I am innocent.  She told him that I lied to him and that I was guilty.  My daughter has severe anxiety disorder and Autism.  Since that day my daughter is scared to go to school.  She thinks that someone is going to take her from school again.  When we found our apartment it was within walking distance to the school.  We would walk to and from the school with her and that seemed to help out a lot.  The school knows my situation and told me that as long  I have to go straight to the office and wait for my daughter and that I have to have meetings in one of the conference rooms.  Our daughter has shown great improvements since being at this new school.  The first school that they went to would not even let me in the office, which I was later told that I am allowed in the office so that I can sign my children out and go to parent/teacher meetings.  

I just want to say again that I would not be where I am today if it was not for my husband pushing me.  He pushed me to do and to start what I am doing by putting my story out there.  He pushed me out of my comfort zone.  I have PTSD and let me tell you that this title makes it worse.  It is just as bad for me as it is for my children and husband.  Wondering if my son’s friends are going to want to come over.  Wondering if their parents will find out and won’t allow their children play with mine because of my background.  My children can not have a normal childhood because of this.  We have to all get together and fight this injustice.

Looking Forward

Let me start by saying that life is what you make it. If you surround yourself with negativity than that is what your attitude is going to be. I know from first hand about being so negative that no one wants to be around you. My mom was my negative voice. I ended up having to cut ties with her, not just for my sake mentally but for my children. I dealt with so much negative energy in my life, especially after these chump charges that I wanted to stop that cycle. It wasn’t until I met my husband 9 years ago that I was able to break away the pieces. Since than my life has changed. My husband and I moved to Maryland with our children and I finally got a (paycheck) job. So for almost two years I have worked and helped support my husband. Now with this virus going around we both are out of work and our children are out of school. But it will be okay because we will all get through it.

On a positive note, my boss uses Young Living. Now I have heard of it before and I love the oils so I signed up and got my starter kit back in November of 2019. Since than I have been trying to promote it. I have made a Facebook page and I also have a website. I am going to put the link here so if you or anyone you know are interested in it please feel free to check it out and send me a message. The link is https://http://www.myyl.com/lori-castledine

A little bit about Young Living is that if you love products that do not have harsh chemicals than this is for you. The thieves cleaning products are the best.

2018-2019

I know that I have not posted for a long time. I have been very busy. So here I am. The last 2 years had its ups and downs. My husband and I moved to Maryland with our 2 children with no money and just the clothes on our backs. Since than we have lived in hotels until we found an apartment that we were approved for. Our daughter has gotten the help she has needed since Florida. Our son is in advanced classes and I am trying to find an online college that will accept him. I have since than quit my job and found another one where it feels more like family. I have also filed my papers for the District Court and the Supreme Court. Now it is just a waiting game. I have also started selling Young living products and making our own paracord.

Here is the link for my facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/Loris-Young-Living-Products-104635167675247/

The Last Few Months

The Last Few Months

https://lorisredemptioncom.wordpress.com/2018/08/18/the-last-few-months/
— Read on lorisredemptioncom.wordpress.com/2018/08/18/the-last-few-months/

The Last Few Months

So I began by saying that my family and I have moved to Maryland for a fresh start. This fresh start has been very hard on all of us. The kids, our marriage and faith.

We came up here to Maryland in April. We have been living at an extended stay. I enrolled the kids in school and did not know that S/O are not allowed on school property. How was I to know. There are nothing in the rules or regulations that state it. The kids went to school and CPS took my children for no reason. We now had an open case. This lady was a bitch. She treated me like I was shit. She was very disrespectful. Anyway she ended up closing the case out on a Thursday and that Friday when I went to extend our room I was told that CPS had called and said that there was a S/O living on the property. Now mind you we have been here for 3 months with no problems. I was told that I had to leave.

We left and went to the hotel next door which is more expensive. We ended up running out of money and the Salvation Army paid for us to stay at another hotel that they could afford. The Salvation Army ran out of funding and we ended up back at the extended stay at a friend’s room. So we have been stay there until we can find a place. The Salvation Army paid for our application fee for a house and we are just waiting for an answer.

We have also decided to homeschool the kids this year so that CPS can’t go to the school and remove them.

Do Not Want to Deal With People

So today takes the cake.  This person who I will give her real name has blasted me all over Facebook to the point to where I have getting threats from people I do not know.  I sold her a tv that worked fine for 6 months at my house.  I had no problems with it.  I sold it to her for $100 dollars.  Now she wants her money back because a week later the screen went out.  She says that I owe her the money back because I sold her a broke tv.  Now she blew the engine in her car because she did not put oil in it.  She is on the rampage of blasting me because I am a sex offender.  She took my picture and posted that there is an active case on me for touching a 13-year-old girl.  She keeps saying that I am a “child molester” and that I am not allowed around children.  I am sorry to burst her happy bubble but I have full custody of my 2 children.  But she has no right to blast me like that.  So now I am taking action into my own hands.  This person is nothing but a fraud.  She scams people into giving her money.  She has this sap story that she tells people all the time.  Now she is trying to buy a car from Kia without informing them that her car has a blown engine in it.  I am sorry to burst her bubble but we have known each other for over 20 years and she is the victim’s sister that my ex husband slept with.  When her sister blasted me she stood up for me and now she is bashing me for a tv that worked when I sold it to her.  She is nothing but drama.  Here is a link to one of her charges.  She tells me that I am a druggie but who has the charge.  Now she has a Go Fund page and asking for money because she drove her car without checking the oil and blew the motor.  Now she is begging for money so she can get another car.  Because of all this my only form of being able to talk to my family is gone.  My Facebook account has been deactivated because of her lies.  So now I am looking at sueing her for defamation of character, Libel and slander.  I hope she had fun lieing about me.

 

 

Adoption

Today I decided to write about adoption.  For those of you who do not know me, I was adopted.  I do not know much about my birth mom expect that she was in foster care through the Department of Children and Families and that she was 15 when she had me.  I was born in Gainesville, FL at Shanes Hospital.  I was then taken to the Ocala office for Children and Families.  I was 6 weeks old when my adoptive parents came and saw me.  My parents fell in love with me when they saw me.  I was adopted into a loving home.  I had a pretty normal childhood and did not find out I was adopted until I was in my twenties.  When I was 32 I got pregnant.  My boyfriend of a year left so I did what was best.  I planned for an adoption.  I already had my youngest son and daughter and did not know how I was going to provide for a baby.  I found a local adoption agency and looked at some books and found a couple that wanted the birth parents involved and for the child to know where he/she came from.  I was already with my current husband Mike.  I was trying to start a new relationship.  We had been talking for a while and he knew that I was pregnant and was doing an adoption.  Michael was there for me throughout the whole process.  In my option he is the father.  He was the one who took me to the hospital and he was the first to hold our daughter.  With all this I did not want my daughter to find out the way I did and think that we did not want her.  I want her to know that she is loved and thought of every day.  We saw our daughter one time after she was born.  She was about one month old.  After that I tried to make plans to meet with the family since we are only 2 hours away.  Every time I would bring up meeting with them they would make up excuses to meet with us.  Now in my opinion that is very unfair when we had an agreement and an understanding that we were going to have visits and be in her life.

 

By: Lori Castledine